Monday, March 12, 2007
Transient
I miss him, a lot, lately.
I know, i should be shooting myself in the head for posting this after all these years, but i shall indulge. Who knows, maybe when the time comes to really really forget or when the embarrassment of sounding like such a knucklehead becomes too overwhelming, i will eventually delete this post.
But at the meantime, just let me be.
Dreams are the culprit. I have no idea why, or how but my unconscious self kept on reenacting the times of when we were still a couple. It would mesh different scenes together and as a whole, weaved the illusion that we were back together again. And the dreams do get so realistic that when i eventually wake up, I'd get all nostalgic and fuzzy all over. Very sneaky, me!
And that surprise sms he sent me a month ago just got the ball rolling again. Suddenly, i was seeing him everywhere. On the bus, queuing for food, the guy at that corner in the lecture theatre. It was pure torture. Ok fine, not torture per se. But imagine having to see someone you're trying to forget popping up in all places and having to go through a mini seizure everytime that happens. That's pretty disturbing already.
*Epiphany*
Hey, but you know what..
Maybe i don't want to forget you after all.
Maybe the dreams meant something: I've been a fool for shutting out a friend.
Maybe we would do just fine, or even better as friends.
Maybe by pushing you away, i began to realize that having you around actually makes more sense.
Maybe you could give me a buzz when you're back
Maybe we could go grab a bite or two.
Maybe.
