Friday, November 03, 2006
Deep Down Dumpsterville
"I thought i've hit rock bottom. But then i realised that there is Rock Bottom, 50 feet of crap and then, me. " -Rachel Green
I think this is the first time i've come clean about my eczema situation and how badly it's affecting me all these while. It's a wierd liberating feeling, but at the same time, it's sad to finally admit that yet not being able to do much about it. So far, i reckon this week's been one of the worst for me and i hope this is the furthest eczema can go to screw up a person's life. I shall not go into details as to how bad it really is right now, but to clue you in, i'll just say that i'm a walking freakshow, that's what i am.
Wawa came over just now to see how i was doing and all i can say is that i'm so bloody thankful that i've still got wonderful girlfriends right here, in cold, hard, heartless Singapore. Nothing quite beats a therapeutic heart-to-heart talk. Sigh, i miss having a fixed telephone line so that i can talk endlessly to someone without worrying about the bill. And MSN Messenger doesn't really quite cut it because nothing is personal and sentimentality just gets obliterated over the chatroom. And besides, you'll want to just talk to one person, not manage a mini conference (and no, i don't have Live Messenger coz my IE is screwed up). So yea, as i was saying, things pretty much got out of hand since my last post. I've run out of my Prednisone pills and now just relying on anti-histamines to quell the itch. Social life: non-existent, since i don't get out of my room that often except to pee, shit, go for lectures and collect my pre-paid hall meals. Pretty pathetic, i know. But hey, solitude is so much better than being stared at.
Speaking of being stared-at, i'm thinking of getting one of those "Eczema-voice" badges, like this one :
At GBP2.50 for 10, they are really cute "Please Don't Stare At Us" badges for kids. I'm gonna hook 'em up on my bag, my shirts and outside my door, like a national flag because i'm not really that proud of either one of them. They should have made it in a brighter color though, like fuschia-on-canary-yellow and not a clinical blue-on-white, so that people can actually see it and take note. But then again, if they are staring, they'll probably notice it anyway.
And as for those ignoramuses, here's the 4-1-1 : eczema is not your regular run-of-the-mill rash, as in pop a pill, splash on some calamine and you'll be good as new. Don't you just hate it when people come up to you and say "Just don't scratch it" or "Control the itch!"? Hypocrites! When it's their turn, they are the ones who scratch their asses off because of a mosquito bite or two and are happy to give us an earful about how they much they hate mosquitoes and insects and blah blah blah. Fyi, insects have been roaming the earth before humans went bipedal and hmm, i don't think they care very much about you hating them. So live with it! Oh, and lets see how much 'self-control' you'll have when you're covered top-to-toe in mozzie bites. Then, you'll have an INKLING of what eczema feels like to us.
Finally, got that off my *well-endowed* chest. ("Puh-leease" you said?)
Anyway, Wawa, just wanted to tell you that i'm feeling much much better after that chat with you. Look, i can think straight enough to write a blog already! And thanks for the coffee, caffeine really makes life worth living for, although it's kinda making my hands tremble as i type. I've seriously gotta quit the java, man!
