Thursday, December 30, 2004
It's the way things go. That's what they tell us.
When something fall, it will soon rise.
The Law of Opposites.
But haven't you notice that usually, the poor will always remain poor and the rich goes on being richer?
Where's the truth in this?
It is not good to be the scum laying at the bottom of the ocean, watching the larger fishes swim above you, admiring the translucent jellyfish float aimlessly on the very top. Sometimes, being free is good. Being aimless is even better. What use is a scum? What use is there to have the notion, the urge to rise above the tides, to watch the blue skies and fluffy white clouds when everything there is anchors you down. Some people are born with wings, some with feet and some with fins. But thereby lying in the deepest crevises, lie those who have nothing at all. Not even the sturdiest of earth to cling on to. Not even a thought. Which is not a good thing either. This does not equates to being free, feet above ground. It's having nothing to hold on to. Having no one to acknowledge your existence and offering you a piece of land, a corner of the earth, a slice of space to call yours.
Nothing is real. You deny reality but you hang on to it still, afraid you might lose it still. It gives you a sense of saneness but at the same time, taking away chunks of it. But what good is it, 'hanging on'? Rocks tumble, earth slips, grips loosen, you fall. Rise again? How? Enveloping you is fear at its hilt. Even the air around you suffocates. But the irony is, how far down can you still fall, when the lowest is where you've been? How much can you take before you hear the crunch behind you. But, who cares? No one, that's the thing. Who notices? Well, the fishes. But, what good are they? Swoop down and break your fall with their flimsy fins? You realise that it's not water, it's air. Not friction, no restriction. You just FALL.
Thursday, December 16, 2004
Back 'home'?
Tip #22 : Never leave a girl alone with her own thoughts. It does more damage than shopping.
After almost 3 weeks ritualistic homecoming shopping and hearty homecooked meals, i had to head back to s'pore again. This may come as a surprise to some of you whom i've told that i won't be s'pore bound till after xmas and to fyee : the m'cca trip. Something urgent came up that i cannot possibly miss and that i have to attend to. It's not like i'm off to save Palestine or something, it's just that the hall band needed to songs to be done and sarah, of all places, is in hall and we have to attend what we call the epitome of s'pore anal-ism : meetings and more meetings! I'm not quite sure if i'll be in time for xmas in m'sia or not, but i promise that i'll be there when you carve the turkey, babe. Anyways, in spite of all the plannings that i came up before i came back home, here is yet another list of things that i failed miserably to do :
see fireflies
meet up with jin and co more than once
visit kustem and ruth
checking out the m'sian clubbing scene
getting a new pair of jeans
highlight my locks (it'll still be as limp as it is now anyway so wth)
update my blog more regularly ( i hate the word blog. Sounds so...primitive. It's like "Ugh, let's carve some dinosaur meat, blog")
spending more time at home with grandma
read more novels
had more m'sian food
And the ironic thing is, i've been living in m'sia my entire life and now i'm missing these things? Schomebody schlap me.
Monday, December 06, 2004
One week passed.
How uneventful.
Well, at least i managed to achieve something. Got my biological clock readjusted and now it's not so screwed up as before. Yea, i'm now waking up at 10.00am instead of pm. Hooray to that!
....
*awkward silence*
yep, that was how uneventful the entire week was. I envy you sarah, all alone in china, chewing crickets' heads off, hooking up with clueless chinamen and not giving a rat's ass about what is going on in the world. Which reminds me, i hate newspapers.
